Thursday, August 22, 2019

Year 28: The Year of Flow

Since writing that first post on this here blog I've had some time to think.

The last 48 hours has revealed even more to me.

This experiment won't truly "begin" until September 10th, my birthday.

Why?

I feel there's much more for me to understand between now and then. It's so easy for me to get all excited and gung-ho about pursuing an idea. This is what I typically do each and every year. This year I want it to be different, so, I am moving slow.

One thing that hit me since this whole experiment idea started was how dogmatic I was making it. I had this idea that the year would be all about my studying myself using various tools and applying what I learn, and while that will make up part of this experiment, there is much more to it.

Over the last couple days the word flow has begun to appear in my thoughts many, many times. I couldn't quite understand why. Hadn't I been flowing all this time? What exactly did I need to flow with?

Everything apparently.

One of the biggest things I feel is a necessity during this experiment is flow. And more specifically, to flow without judgement.

But for me in order to flow this also means acceptance. I'm realizing more and more that in order for me to truly flow I need to first accept what flow looks like for me.

You see flow looks different for everyone.

For one person it could mean living life with a rigorous schedule. For another it could mean having no schedule at all. And even for another it could be something in-between. Or, and here's the kicker, it could have absolutely nothing to do with schedules.

So what does flow mean for me right now?

Well, as I understand it, I am being asked to discover myself, then accept (and embrace) what it is I've discovered, and then allow myself to flow in that. It means allowing myself to just be who I discover myself to be. It means allowing whatever conditioning I've been holding onto for the last 27 years to fall away, leaving the beautiful petals of the flower that is me.

That is what flow means for me. But, it first starts with acceptance.

Peace and love,

Shenaye